This morning, I decided to start living my life by doing more random acts of kindness. Here's why:
Wikipedia defines a "random act of kindness" as:
A selfless act performed by a person wishing to either assist or cheer up an individual. There will generally be no reason other than to make people smile or be happier.The back-story
Either spontaneous or planned in advance, random acts of kindness are encouraged by various communities. An oft-cited example of a random act of kindness is, when paying the toll at a toll booth on a highway, to pay the toll for the vehicle behind you as well.I began thinking about this subject a few weeks ago when my friend Emily and I went to dinner at a Mexican restaurant on the East Side of Des Moines.
I began thinking about this subject a few weeks ago when my friend Emily and I went to dinner at a Mexican restaurant on the East Side of Des Moines.
On our way into the restaurant, a (scruffy-looking) man approached us and asked if he could have any money. I don't remember the reason he gave, but it was vague enough that I was skeptical that his story was true. In my head, I was coming up with a reason to deny him... "Sorry, I don't have any cash" or maybe even just ignoring him and going inside.
I looked at Emily for help, but instead, she reached into her purse and got out her wallet. She said, "Yeah, I think I have a dollar or two..." so I got out my wallet and handed him two dollars. He thanked us, said "God bless you," and walked away. The end.
Do I know for sure that he used our four dollars to feed himself and his starving children? No. Do I even think that he used the money for food? Maybe. I really don't know. But as we walked into that restaurant, I felt good. I knew that I had bestowed some kindness on this stranger, and it made me feel good. I had a smile on my face and a bounce in my step.
This morning, when I read on Twitter that a friend's grandfather had passed away, I sent a reply: "sending a hug from Iowa... I'm so sorry to hear about your grandpa." The feeling happened again!
How to be kind? Just do it!
Now think about a time that someone has been unexpectedly kind to you. Whether it was holding the door open for you, offering to help carry something or even just waving for you to go first at a stop sign... Think about how receiving kindness makes you feel. It's good isn't it?
Now think about the ways you can show kindness to someone else... I've realized that being kind is the simplest thing in the world if I'm not thinking about myself all the time. For example, you could:
- Say "hello" to someone you see every day but never talk to (the mailman, someone in your building, etc.)
- Hold the door open for the person behind you
- Leave a big tip
- Send someone a card (snail mail)
- Write more than "happy birthday
!" on someone's facebook wall - Pick up trash as you go about your day
- Compliment someone
- Clean your neighbor's driveway
Benefits of Kindness
The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation website outlines several studies that show the health benefits of being kind. These are some of the findings:
- Helping contributes to the maintenance of good health, and it can diminish the effect of diseases and disorders serious and minor, psychological and physical.
- A rush of euphoria, followed by a longer period of calm, after performing a kind act is often referred to as a “helper’s high,” involving physical sensations and the release of endorphins. This initial rush is then followed by a longer-lasting period of improved emotional well-being.
- Helping can enhance our feelings of joyfulness, emotional resilience and vigor; and can reduce the unhealthy sense of isolation.
- A decrease in both the intensity and the awareness of physical pain can occur.
- The incidence of attitudes, such as chronic hostility, that negatively arouse and damage the body is reduced.
- The health benefits and sense of well-being return for hours or even days whenever the helping act is remembered.
- An increased sense of self-worth, greater happiness and optimism, as well as a decrease in feelings of helplessness and depression, is achieved.
- The practice of caring for strangers translates to immense immune and healing benefits.
- Regular club attendance, volunteering, entertaining or faith group attendance is the happiness equivalent of getting a college degree or more than doubling your income.
Posts
Cheers for random acts of kindness! Does it count that I shared the free Redbox code with someone while waiting to rent a movie? It felt good knowing I helped someone save money... even though it was a $1.
ReplyDeleteLike it all! Recently I was primed and ready for a random act of kindness but it turned out it wasn't needed. I was in line at Target and a mom was buying a halloween costume for her child and she was paying in change. I thought if she doesn't have enough, I'm going to give her money. She ended up having enough change to pay for it but I had an overwhelming feeling that I wanted to help if she didn't.
ReplyDeleteI heard a song on the radio this morning about making a phone call. The first verse was about a man about to kill himself until a friend randomly called him to invite him to the lake for the weekend. The second verse was about a girl who got pregnant and her boyfriend talked her into an abortion, but called at the last second and said not do it because he wanted to marry her. I realize those are extremes, but I thought of a friend of mine who I know gets stressed easily and I haven't talked to in awhile. I called her and left her a message just saying hi and that I loved her. I felt good just knowing that my voice mail would brighten her day a little.
ReplyDeleteI love your post. In Spanish we were talking about how everyone stays in their own little world now. Between the song, your post, and my class I am taking them all as signs to do more random acts. I am inspired. Thank you!
Oh, Emilee, your blog is just filled with 'Classic' kindness. Thanks to David I have found your words of encouragement to be kind.
ReplyDeleteA few weeks ago I left a little package of M&M's and a note written on a scrap piece of paper on the cleaning cart of an environmental service worker who was on the floor where I work. I did not see her find it, but later her supervisors came to say that the lady brought the note to them. She had tearfully told them that she had never received a kindness note before. While I thought it very sad that she would not be recognized for her hard work, the experience reinforced my belief that even a scrap piece of paper turned into a kindness note is worth the time and effort.
With love~ J.
This is really great Emily, I too have recently been thinking I need to up my random acts of Kindness.
ReplyDeleteI've been especially influenced by the Islamic tradition of Zakat (one the five Pillars of Islam). According to Wikipeida it is defined as, "the practice of charitable giving by Muslims based on accumulated wealth, and is obligatory for all who are able to do so. It is considered to be a personal responsibility for Muslims to ease economic hardship for others and eliminate inequality".
When I first got here I was shocked that few people ignored begging hands. When I learned more about Zakat - it started to make more sense! I don't always have money to give- but I do have plenty of free smiles.
Another great of passing on kindness is to give up your seat. I've noticed that when I stand and let individuals with children or the elderly take my seat - suddenly, everyone around me is doing the same. Kindness is contagious.